Too much of a loser

So I once came to a point that I can never trust guys, never ever. Then you came back to my life, I kept my walls. But the more we talk, the more I let my guard down and one day you just have to ask if I trust you, I actually did. So tonight, I landed myself in this state again, with no love to my name. I realise how things always happen at the wrong time for me, it always always have to be during exam periods when shit happen and I can't concentrate at all. I used to think I must have done something good my past life to deserve you in my life.. But now I think, I must have been Hitler my past life. Everything is not going well....... And definitely not helping with all the shit attitude I have to face. I can give attitude too, can't I? I know, nobody can help me if I don't help myself. Right now.. all I want is a memory loss. I don't know why I feel sooo affected this time round zz